Habits of a Healthy Heart
Part 2: Habit of Solitude
SERMON TRANSCRIPT
Last week, we started and Pastor Chris said this, "If you want to change your life, you need to change your habits. But if you want to change your habits, you have to let God change your heart." Last week, we talked about self-examination. Pastor Chris spoke from Psalms and the need to let God reveal to us what might be going on inside of us, what might need to change, what might need to be surrendered, and then let the work of the Spirit do that work within us.
Today, we're going to move on to our next healthy habit. Are we excited? Do you know? I think it says on the bulletin. I can't even do a surprise. It's solitude. We're talking about solitude today. And whenever I bring up solitude in a group, it's usually pretty, some people are excited and some people are like, "I hate being alone. So why would I want to do the spiritual practice of solitude?" But I want to say that there's a difference between being alone and exercising solitude. Wayne Cordero says that there's a difference between isolation and solitude. They may contain similar characteristics, but in reality, they are worlds apart. Solitude is a chosen separation for refining your soul, and isolation is what happens when you don't pay attention to the first. So with that kind of solitude, how many of you, let's take a little time here to get a sense of where we're at. How many of you enjoy solitude, an intentional time of being alone? Yeah, just very few hands. Oh, more hands. Yes, great. How many of you get that regular time? You might enjoy it, but do you actually? Yeah, now I see some less hands. It's hard. It's hard. The truth is getting regular times of solitude is difficult. Our lives do not really allow or encourage for that time. Like Pastor Chris said, our society often values maximizing time, keeping us busy, grinding out every hour, doing work as much as you can.
But the way of Jesus shows us something different. Jesus lived and modeled a practice of regular solitude. The Bible shows us that solitude is where God does some of his most transformative work within us. Now you might be saying, "But my life is too busy. I just, you know, there's too many people dependent on me. It is so hard to practically get this time of solitude." And I hear you. I do. I'm one saying the same thing sometimes. But I want us to think of the life of Jesus for a second and all that he had going on. He had ministry straight for three years, chose disciples. He was teaching the values of God's kingdom. He was healing people. He was casting out demons. He was raising people from the dead. He was cleansing the temple. He was showing love and compassion to everyone, the crowds that came to follow him. He endured persecution and ridicule and opposition from the Pharisees, all while fulfilling the law and all while looking forward in his mind to knowing what he knew was going to come, which was the sacrifice that he would have to make. And he was called while doing the will of God every day. Jesus consistently and intentionally created space to hear from his Father in heaven, to spend time with God. And if Jesus did it, lived it, modeled it, and we are followers of him, want to live life like him, then I think we too should practice regular solitude. We have to realize that it's not possible to be intimate with God, to have an intimate relationship with him without intentionality. That just doesn't happen by accident. God, I know you and I love you and I just hope that we can get close over time. That's very wishful thinking. It doesn't happen like that. Think of your relationships in your life, the closest ones you have, be it a marriage or your closest friend, family. At some point, you are intentional to whatever degree to spend time with them, to invest in that relationship. As one pastor said, you can't busy your way to God, even by doing good spiritual things. If I just read my Bible, and then I do this, I do this, I do this, eventually, that might put your attention closer to him, but it's not going to move you. You're not going to take steps towards God. So one of the most important ways to be intentional with him, to deepen our understanding and our relationship with him, is to spend time in solitude with him.
Now let's further define what solitude is. Ruth Haley Barton, who is an author and has a great book. If you're a person who likes resources and wants to read more after this or wants to listen to a podcast, come find me. I will give you tons of information about solitude. But she writes this, "Solitude at its most basic and profound level is simply an opportunity to be ourselves with God." Just to be ourselves with God. All of who we are, the good, the bad, the polished, the unrefined, to bring our desires, our hopes, our pains, our struggles, and to just be with him. And to listen, often in times of silence. It's time to just focus on our relationship with him. Just the two of you. I don't know if you have someone in life like that that you have where you don't always have to talk with whatever's going on out loud. You just be with that person. They know you. They know what you need. And they know when to speak and when not to. That is solitude with God. Just being with him in whatever you are feeling. Henry Nouwen, another author, says, "Without solitude, it is virtually impossible to live a spiritual life. We do not take the spiritual life seriously if we do not set aside some time to be with God and to listen to him." This one's a bit convicting. I've had seasons where I'm better at having a regular rhythm of solitude and having a newborn in our lives right now does not naturally lend to that. It's hard. And I know that God understands where I'm coming from. He has compassion on me. But it's no excuse. As the most important relationship in my life, I still need to be spending time, intentional time of solitude with God. However long or short that is. We cannot live our lives to the fullest extent without spending time with God. And then John Mark Homer, author and pastor, he writes this about solitude. He says, "Solitude is not an easy path, but it is an ancient path, the Jesus path to a strong, deep, joyful, vibrant life with God." I love this. The Jesus path. Jesus showed us that it truly does lead to the best relationship with our Heavenly Father. And so for the rest of this morning, with this understanding of solitude, I want to focus on four points that we see from scripture, specifically in the life of Jesus. And that is first, that our environment when it comes to solitude matters. Secondly, in that time of solitude, we're going to encounter ourself. It's what that means in a bit. We're going to encounter the enemy. And then ultimately, we're going to encounter God. So let's take a deeper look into these moments.
Let me pray first one more time and then we'll get into it. God, thank you again for our time this morning, for this series of talking about what our hearts need to be healthy in the way that you intended them to be. And as we talk about solitude, I pray that you would help us to be honest with ourselves. God, that your spirit would speak through your words, your scripture, reveal to us what we can change in life, what practical things might need to change in order that we can have a deeper, more intimate relationship with you. We pray this in your name. Amen.
We’re going to start in Luke. We're going to jump around today. So if you want to follow along your Bible, all for it. But we'll have it on the screen because I'm going to be going pretty fast. So Luke 5:15 through 16 says this, "Yet the news about him spread all the more, so that crowds of people came near to him or came to hear him and to be healed of their sickness. But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed." I want to focus on that last part there. Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed. Lonely places. I love that. The NASB says he withdrew to the wilderness. The ESV says desolate places or deserted. Jesus was alone in nature, just him and God the Father. You know what's significant about where he went, about his environment, is that there was no other people. There was no other man-made noise or distraction to draw his attention away from what he was out there to do. People and noise are a distraction from when we're trying to commune with God. The spiritual practice of solitude is often paired and said as silence and solitude. We need that environment to encourage us to focus in on our relationship with him. To find a quiet and lonely place takes great intentionality on our part these days. The noise of the world is getting louder and louder. It's only growing. For Jesus, he had crowds of people in his own mind. He had the will of God. He had to carry out lots of broken and needy people. So he had to get away. He had to be alone in order to commune with the Father. But like I said, for us today to find that lonely place, that's really difficult. To find a place of true silence is even harder. Let me share with you the findings of Bernie Krauss, who is a musician and ecologist. He executed a study for many, many years. He was reflecting on it. In 2008, he wrote this paper reflecting on the changes in sound that he witnessed over 40 years. He would go out and study sound. He said this, "In 1968, it took just 15 hours to record one hour of silence." Just nature, not complete, like nothing. You could have birds, you could have whatever, the wind. But no human noise. So no airplanes, no power lines buzzing, no traffic. It took 15 hours to get one hour of silence. In 2008, it took nearly 2,000 hours to get one hour of silence. The noise of this world is only getting louder. And it's a hindrance to us in getting that solitude with Jesus. Bernie, who did this study, said when he was reflecting on these, and he's not a religious man, he said, "Humans are denied an experience of the wild natural essential to an interaction between themselves and their organically resonant surroundings." As a believer, I think he's just a little bit off. And I would say, with all that noise, humans are denied an experience to be in creation and be drawn closer to their creator like we were intended to.
Another part of our environment that is arguably an even bigger factor in regards to distractions and hindrance is the digital noise that we face. In this digital age, we are dealing with smartphones, alerts, Wi-Fi, e-mails, social media, streaming services, endless queues of information and entertainment. In this digital age, it is now possible, and this scares me when I say this, it is now possible to go your entire life without ever being truly alone with God. Our devices keep us tethered to the world of noise and regularly drown out the voice of God in our hearts. As Mother Teresa said, "We need to find God, and He cannot be found in the noise or restlessness. God is the friend of silence." We were made to commune with God, like Adam and Eve in the garden, taking regular walks with God in the garden. But do we have that time? Do we have a place? Do we have a moment in our day where there is no noise, be it audible or digital? So as you think, as you reflect on your life, you take inventory of your day, do you have a regular time with God? Do you have a place free of distraction where you and God can truly commune? Remember, Jesus often, often withdrew to lonely places and prayed. We want that to be true of us, too. So the first thing is our environment. When practicing solitude, it will either, our environment helps us or hinders us. And so find a place that will help you.
The next point is our encounter with self. When we come to a place of quiet, if we ever do get that time of solitude, we are often coming to it feeling worn out, exhausted, beat down by life. And we expect solitude to kind of be this day spa for our souls. God, if I just get some alone time, my soul is going to feel so good and pampered. I'm going to come back refreshed and renewed. Sometimes it goes that way. I will say sometimes it goes that way. But often it can feel less like a day spa and more like intense emotional surgery. Because we can get away from people, but we can't get away from ourselves. Henry now and again, right? Solitude is not a private therapeutic place. Rather, it is the place of conversion. The place where the old self dies and a new self is born. The place where emergence of the new man and the new woman occurs. And when he writes this, he goes on to talk about how the reality in alone time, we have no buffers for what's going to like distract us from what's going on inside of us. We don't have friends to talk with. We don't have updates to check or social media to scroll through. No music to entertain. No books or shows to immerse ourselves in. We're just there, weak and vulnerable, sinful and broken before God. And that's difficult for us to just sit in our own brokenness, our own sin. That's an uncomfortable tension that we don't like. And so we're often desperate if we start to have alone time and solitude time, we're often desperate to be like, "Oh, should I just go check my phone? I don't like what's going on in here. Let me go distract myself with something else." But when we get free of distractions, we're better able to see the mess of what's going on inside of us, like the self-examination that Pastor Chris was preaching about last week. Every emotion, every emotion, every feeling of exhaustion, worries, sadness, anger, shame. It all rises to the surface when we spend time in solitude. Our soul is thinking, "Finally, I have some time to deal with what's going on inside of us." The problem can be that we don't know how to deal with it. We feel these emotions, we feel these things coming to the surface, like, "What is going on? I don't like this. I don't even know what to do.”
But Jesus did know what to do. And he shows us on the evening before his crucifixion in the Garden of Gethsemane in Matthew 26, it says this, "Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane. And he said, 'Sit here while I go over there and pray.' He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him and he began to be sorrowful and troubled." Jesus knows what's coming the next day. He knows what's going on. He knows that he needs some time in solitude. And as he does, he begins to feel his pain. And he shows us how to deal with that by bringing it before God. As we continue, it says, "Then he said to them, 'My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.' And going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, 'My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me, yet not as I will, but as you will.'" It's through this simple but difficult practice of noticing and naming our emotions before God in prayer and offering them up to God in raw honesty. That we are deeply formed to the people that God has always desired for us to become. Don't run from those negative feelings. Rather, lay in them before God. Surrender them. Again, most of us don't like that tension, especially that inner tension. But it's through that tension that God works and transforms us, refines us, purifies us, restores us into being more like Christ. So the first two points. Your habit of solitude needs a healthy environment. And when you are in that place, it will lead to a difficult but necessary encounter with yourself.
Next, we will encounter the enemy. For centuries now, since the early days of the church, it has been recognized that there are three enemies to the soul. The world, the flesh and the devil. All three test and tempt our faith when we are in the quiet. And usually this comes in the form of thoughts that assault our minds with lies, deception and temptation. It did for Jesus in Matthew 4. Jesus goes out into the wilderness. It says this in Matthew 4, 1 through 11. Then Jesus was led by the spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. After fasting 40 days and 40 nights, he was hungry. The tempter came to him and said, "If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread." Jesus answered, "It is written, 'Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.' And the devil took him to the holy city and had him stand on the highest point of the temple. 'If you are the Son of God,' he said, 'throw yourself down, for it is written, 'He will command his angels concerning you, and they will lift you up in their hands so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.' Jesus answered him, 'It is also written, 'Do not put the Lord your God to the test.' Again the devil took him to the very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor. 'All this I will give to you,' he said, 'if you will bow down and worship me.' Jesus said to him, 'Away from me, Satan, for it is written, 'Worship the Lord your God and serve him only.' Then the devil left him and the angels came and attended him." In that moment of solitude, Jesus faced the ultimate test with Satan right there in the world, in his own flesh of not being, not eating anything for 40 days. When we go into solitude, when we choose solitude, we will feel the resistance of all three enemies. The world conspires against our need for quiet and solitude by polluting our lives with noise. Our own flesh comes up with all sorts of emotionally loaded reasons not to spend time in the quiet. And then the devil, just as we read, is always looking for an opportunity to draw us away from Jesus' call on us to spend time with him. Ruth Haley Barton writes, "All the forces of evil band together to prevent our knowing God in this way, because it brings to an end the dominion of those powers in our lives." Solitude is so important. It's in that time that we will best deal with the enemy. We must be ready, just as Jesus was, equipped with the truth of scripture, ready to call upon his name, because we will face lies and deceit and temptation. So spending time in solitude means being prepared for the resistance that we will face. But if we are willing to fight, it will be hard at first. But if we do this in the long term, it will yield great freedom in Christ and the deepest intimacy with our God. The fourth point is that we will in solitude encounter God. This is the truth that really drives and motivates us to spend time in solitude. Solitude is this place of encounter. We go to encounter ourselves and all the emotions that we are dealing with. We go to encounter the enemy and get free of our hearts entanglement with the world, the flesh and the devil. But ultimately, we go into the quiet to encounter God.
We go there because there is nothing like God's presence. We go to listen to his voice, to hear him speak over us, over our identity and our calling. And while some of it is us speaking to God, much of it should be spent in silence listening for God. And that practice of speaking and listening, it's not just communication, it is communication with God, but that is truly communing with him. John Mark Comer says, "Ultimately, the most important thing that happens in solitude is that we love and are loved by God." If you hear nothing else, take that home with you. Spend time in solitude because that's when we love God the most and that's when we are loved by God the most. Let's look at another example from Jesus in Mark 1. It says, "That evening, after sunset, the people brought to Jesus all the sick and demon-possessed. The whole town gathered at the door and Jesus healed many who had various diseases. He also drove out many demons, but he would not let the demons speak because they knew who he was." So Jesus had just spent this time pouring out, doing the ministry of God's kingdom. And what does he need? He needs time alone with God. Not alone time, just a veg, just be like, "Man, there's so much people time, so social. I just need to scroll some social media really quick and catch up on my favorite sports team." No, he's getting away from the, not just the noise, but he's being intentional to spend time with God, his heavenly father. Then it says in verse 35, "Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house, and went off to a solitary place where he prayed." He knew. After doing all that, all that ministry, intense ministry, he knew he needed the time to commune with God, to spend those quiet moments in rich relationship with his father. And it's from that time that his soul feels renewed and refocused and ready for what the next day held. Verse 36 says, "Simon and his companions went to look for him, and when they found him, they exclaimed, 'Everyone is looking for you!' Jesus replied, 'Let's go somewhere else to the nearby village so I can preach there also. That is why I have come.'" So he traveled through Galilee, preaching in their synagogues and driving out doing this. After that time of solitude, Jesus was ready to continue the calling that God had on his life. And that's what we need, to be reminded of what God has created us for, to be reminded of our purpose as men, women, husbands and wives, friends, co-workers, sons and daughters, followers of Jesus in our communities. When we have an encounter with God, we better understand our identity and purpose.
Spending time with the Creator, our Father in heaven, gives us what we need to live out our lives as ambassadors for Christ. So Jesus shows us how a quiet environment will lead to an encounter with what's within us, an encounter with the enemy, and most importantly, an encounter with God. And so in this new year, let me ask you this. We're talking about healthy habits. Do you want to make it a habit of spending necessary time with your Lord and Savior? Will you make it a habit of spending regular time in solitude? And just our question for the whole series, will you live like Jesus in 2025? I want to end by getting very practical. If you're a note taker, if you're someone who likes to plan permission to get out your notes, bring out your phone and calendar, we're going to get very practical and I hope you're going to walk away today with a plan for solitude. All right. First one, you need to prepare your environment. Where is the best place where you can find solitude and silence? And when in the day? Is it morning? Is it evening? Is it right before work? Is it when the baby goes down for a nap? I would suggest doing it as close to the morning as possible. Start your day with God. And then how often are you going to do it? Daily? Weekly? I would not go any less frequent than weekly. I would aim for daily, even if it's just for 10 minutes. Find a time, put it in your calendar, put an alarm, set the... This is my 10 minutes with God. Find a quiet place. I would suggest if you can do it in nature, get with the Creator in creation. If you can't, maybe it's just in your car before you head into work. You just sit in your car for a little bit. Don't turn on the music. Put your phone on the seat over there. Throw it in the back if you need to. Just sit alone with God. Next, be prepared to deal with what's going on inside you. Don't always view it like, hey, I'm going to have some day spa time for my soul. He's going to sit. He's so good. Again, that can happen. That's awesome. If it does, but be prepared for a lot of the brokenness within you to rise to the surface. Like Jesus in the garden, when he began to feel sorrow, use that prayer that he prays. Identify what's going on within you and give it to God. Give God your feelings. All of them unfiltered. God does not care if you are swearing at him or to him or in front of him. Much of the Hebrew and the Old Testament with David, it's probably not PG. Tell Jesus how you feel. Give God your desires. Tell him what you want. What you really want. Good or bad. Just like, God, this is what I'm feeling I want right now. Just tell him that. And then give God your trust and that time by surrendering your heart to him. Stop grasping for control and instead yield to God. You can pray Jesus own words, not my will, but yours, God. So know that this time of solitude is going to bring up some difficult memories, some challenging feelings that face that pain with God.
Next, be prepared to deal with the enemy as you find your quiet place and you're wrestling with what's going on within you. Also be aware that you're going to deal with the distractions that are going to come with the enemy who doesn't want you to spend time in solitude. And so here's a practical if you're taking notes. Holy reading or lectio divina. What's anciently called. It really means holy reading. Pick a short verse. Short passage, I would suggest the Psalms if you want somewhere to start and in your quiet time, do the four Rs. Are you ready? Read the passage, but very slowly. Don't just like, God, I do my reading time. Somebody just blitz through this really quick. No, read very slowly a short passage, then reflect on it. Read the read it again, word by word, slowly turning over every word that you're going through, wondering, God, what are you trying to tell me in this verse? Then respond. Pray that to God. God, I'm just it seems like you're saying this. I'm getting these ideas. This is what my mind is going. Give that before him and then rest. Rest in whatever you just encountered with God. Whatever you just read. Just sitting there. Our minds want to go to the next thing. God, I read it. Great. Amen. Thank you. Let's go. Take a time to pause and rest in the truth that you just heard.
If you do this, the enemy is going to have a harder time getting to you. The enemy is going to have a harder time lying and deceiving you because you're going to be focusing on God's truth. And finally, be prepared to encounter God. Go into your solitude time ready to listen. Slow yourself down. Ask God to silence the voice of the enemy, to clear out your own mind and then ask God to speak to you. Sometimes we say, like, hey, I've never heard God speak to me. And I sometimes like, have you asked? Have you asked God, God, can you speak to me? I want to hear your voice. I want to hear your truth. Maybe it's audible. Maybe it's through scripture. Maybe it's through a friend. But ask God, God, can you speak to me? And then do the following. Open your mind and your heart to God and just be still. Close your eyes and listen. And hopefully what comes to mind is maybe a line or a passage of scripture. Maybe it's from something you just read, if you just read the Bible. Maybe it's a word or phrase, a thought or a feeling. Maybe it's a picture. If you're a visual person, maybe you're getting a picture in your head. Or maybe it's a memory. Maybe it's a dream of something in the future. Maybe it's something you've recently experienced or thought about, read or heard. But have it be a part of your solitude time where you are trying to listen to God. Now, this is difficult to kind of get a hold of because we spend some time in solitude. I'm like, I'm just being quiet. Am I doing it right? I don't know. Don't strain. Don't you achievers out there are going to have a hard time with this. Don't try to achieve something in this and like, I got it. I did it. I mastered it. Just let yourself be in front of God and just wait quietly. And oftentimes the first thing that comes to mind is from God. Maybe it's a verse. Maybe it's a truth. It's a memory. It's a feeling. Something may come. Maybe it's not. You'll spend that time in quiet and nothing came to mind. That is OK. Our job is to listen, not to make God talk. Sometimes I need to hear that. I want I'm like, God, you better speak. Our job is just to listen, to take time and to listen. Now, if God does say something to you, I want to say this. Just use discernment. Take that thing and hear it against scripture. Go see this. This is true. I heard this from God. That was kind of putting this on my heart, on my mind. Go find that in scripture. Make sure it aligns with his truth and use your community. Check with your pastors. Hey, pastor, I just I heard this this week and want to see what your thoughts were. You're the other people in this community. But reflect and rest. And if something comes to mind, ask the spirit to clarify in your mind what that means to you. God, I heard this. Now, what do you want to do with that?
Our prayer is that we are all spending time, more intentional time with God in silence and solitude this year, because in that time, God will work. He will work. We will be transformed. Our hearts and souls will be renewed. We'll be better equipped to serve others, to love others, to endure life's challenges. I would love. I don't know if I'm going to remember. Maybe I'll put it on my phone. A year from now, 2026. Oh, my gosh, that's scary. We're in 2025? A year from now. If you those who make the point to practice solitude, I would love to hear how a year of regular solitude affects you. I almost guarantee you are going to be closer to God. You are going to love God in new ways. You're going to know Him in new ways. So let's make solitude one of our healthy habits this year.
Let's pray. God, thank you again for your truth and for your word. And for how you show us what is necessary in life. And for our relationship with you, what is necessary is solitude. God, I pray that for those of us in this room who are going to make solitude a regular part of our lives, that you would encourage us, you would equip us, empower us to do that. And God, as we face the noise of this world, I pray that you would help us find a place where we can truly commune with you that is silent and that we can hear your voice. And God, as we deal with what's going on inside of us, the mess within us, God, I pray that you would give us grace and compassion even to have on our own selves. But God, that you would work through all that's within us. And then as we deal with the enemy, the world, the flesh. And the devil, God, I pray that you would give us strength, give us truth. Help us to stand firm on your word, to be able to face those things. And then, God, ultimately, we are coming into solitude to hear from you. So I pray that we would be able to hear your voice. Make it distinct. Make it be that there's no doubt that we heard from you. And God, we're excited. We're anticipating, we're expecting you to do amazing work in us and through us for your kingdom. We pray this in your name. Amen.